Two Years in Spain: 5 Things I Didn’t Expect

Two years ago today we moved to Spain. It wasn’t sudden; we had been planning it for over three years. If you’re curious, you can catch up on that story here “Why Valencia? Why Spain? And Why Did It Take Three Years?” 

Many of you already know this wasn’t our first time living abroad. We lived for two years in  Rome 20 years prior so I knew a bit about living in Europe, but I still wasn’t prepared for some things. 

Five Things I Didn’t Expect:

1. That it would be so hard to make friends. There were legit reasons for this, the most obvious was that I didn’t speak Spanish. But wearing a mask and trying to converse with someone also wearing a mask and speaking Spanish was doubly, triply hard. It’s not unlike juggling with both hands tied behind your back. Also keeping distance was still a thing. Even when we moved to Italy and I didn’t speak Italian, I was able to smile and point and seem friendly enough to make connections with vendors and new neighbors. I was trying to do what I did in Rome and it did not work. I eventually overcame this (by desperation), but it was a painful first few months.
2. I thought there would be more Italian influences. Being so close to Italy, I assumed Italian food would be plentiful and taste the same. But it isn’t and doesn’t, even when made by Italians. The Italian guys across the street with the pizzeria warned me that it wouldn’t taste the same. Love their honesty. They say the reason is the ingredients are different, and it’s just the way it is. 
3. Becoming a volunteer with the Ukrainian Refugee Center in Valencia. Volunteering is in my DNA, but I could never have predicted I would be helping Ukrainians in Spain. My teen and I volunteered once a week during the summer of 2022 to help distribute donated food when this was all so new. When Nate went back to school, I kept going each Wednesday, and I’ve had the privilege of becoming friends with several Ukrainians who are displaced AND volunteer. Impressively, most speak several languages including English making it possible for me to understand more clearly some of the challenges they’ve personally faced like a serious medical condition for a 5-year-old girl that took weeks for surgery to be scheduled, and, of course, finding employment.
4. Helping throw a baby shower for a new friend in a country that doesn’t do baby showers. It’s not done here. There are no baby superstores and very little baby stuff once you are looking for it. I was one of three hostesses and the other two knew food and decor. It was the most beautiful, delicious baby shower I’d ever been to or helped with. The guests, all relatively new to Valencia, hailed from all over the world. We were kindred spirits, expats making our way in a new country, which makes for fantastic conversations and wonderful new connections.
5. Being an honorary abuela (grandmother) at a preschool for my friend’s 5-year-old son on Grandparents Day. I worried about speaking Spanish and playing games in Spanish. I shouldn’t have – it was basically almuerzo  – a Spanish meal eaten late morning, thankfully including adult beverages (even at a pre-school), a live band and lasting several hours. It wasn’t just the grandparents attending either from what I could tell. Aunties, uncles, cousins – whole families turned out and the teachers didn’t seem to mind or even try to control the influx. They just rolled with it with a smile and extra platters of bocadillos a.k.a. sandwiches. What a hoot! I’d do that again in a heartbeat!

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Have you Read My Book? If you enjoy my blog, maybe you’d like to read my memoir about the two years I lived in Rome. Times New Roman: How We Quit Our Jobs, Gave Away Our Stuff & Moved to Italy is available from libraries and bookstores everywhere. Just ask for it if you don’t see it on the shelf.