2023 Intentions – Write Yourself a Happy Ending

If you make New Year’s resolutions, do you make them difficult? Do you dread doing them? The first definition of resolution I found at Britannica.com contains the words “conflict” and “problem.” Among the things I like to avoid, high on the list are conflicts and problems. Brussels sprouts are on that list too, and I have no intention of forcing myself to eat them this year. 

I decided years ago to call my New Year’s resolutions intentions instead. I only list things I want to do, but for whatever reason haven’t gotten around to…yet. So with that said, these are my 2023 Intentions and I’m really happy with them. The theme is simple: Do more of what I enjoy and less of what I don’t. 

Martha’s 2023 Intentions 

#1 Bake more, cook less. There’s a reason that para llevar or “take away” was the first phrase I learned after moving to Spain. I don’t like to cook much any more, but I LOVE to bake! Banana bread, biscuits, coffee cakes, brownies, cookies, muffins. I like the whole process: measuring everything in advance, prepping the baking dish, mixing it all together, taste testing along the way and then sliding it into the hot oven. Then I relax doing something else while I wait. Yes, I love eating these carb-filled creations for sure, but the aroma of bread or cookies baking is a sensory experience all its own. 

I’ve loved baking since I was a child so why don’t I allow myself to do more of it? That’s easy; my family and I don’t need to consume all that sugar and butter, BUT I’ve come up with a workaround. I also like sharing, which is going to be key in not packing on extra pounds. Just this week, I made two sour cream coffee cakes, one on Sunday for us, and one on Tuesday to take to Annie who just had a baby. When I texted to let her know I had something to drop off, Annie wrote right back, “Oh man, now I’m excited…come anytime!” Annie knows I love to bake. Giving adds to my enjoyment!

#2 Watch more movies, less news. I love to watch movies! At home with my family, and I especially love seeing them on the big screen. I love a good rom-com, heist, or underdog wins kind of movie. I REALLY missed going to the cinema when COVID shut everything down. Before COVID, I often went alone because it was easier and more likely to happen and I enjoyed it more if I didn’t have to pay a sitter or see something “for the whole family.” I’d just decide on Sunday morning what I was going to see and jump in the car that afternoon and go. Now that I’m in Spain, I have fewer choices in English and the timing is difficult. Matinees are practically nonexistent and listings for VOSE (code for original version, for me English-language versions) are often scheduled after 10. Yes, 10pm!

On my last trip to the United States in December, I was excited to see Captain Phillips was available to watch on the plane. I had been wanting to see for it for at least a year – especially now that I really understand where Somalia is. (See #4 of 2022 Intentions.) For some reason I kept putting off seeing it, probably because I knew it would be suspenseful (not my preferred genre) but I guess I felt safer on the plane with a few hundred people surrounding me. I just knew I was going to like it and I did. Highly recommend.

On my return flight, I watched Elvis because gal pal, and Elvis fan Kaci recommended it plus it was getting a lot of Oscar buzz. It occurred to me later that Tom Hanks was a common denominator in both movies though I don’t think I realized Colonel Tom Parker was played by Hanks until after a few scenes. Great actors, great storytelling, btw. So in making this connection, I’ve decided to watch or rewatch all of the Tom Hanks movies (there are at least 80 and counting!) and I’ve already started by rewatching The Money Pit after my Spanish friend Franke told me how he and “Mum” love watching Esta Casa es Ruina. Also I just watched Sully for the first time. Probably a good idea they didn’t have that movie to watch on the plane. 

#3 Stay in better touch with friends and family. This intention is inspired by the book The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware. Ware worked as a nurse in palliative care taking care of people for eight years during their last three to twelve weeks. She listened to them as they reflected on their lives and shares in her book the most common regrets she heard as they faced the end of their lives. 

It hit me the other day, that no matter where I live, I’m never going to have all my friends and family in the same place again. Never. Nope. Accept it. But don’t accept being distant. 

My mom and I haven’t lived in the same town since my early twenties, but we used to call each other on Saturday mornings and drink coffee while catching each other up on our week. We can’t do that anymore so I’m really glad we did when we could. There are a lot of people I’d still like to catch up with over a cup of coffee or a glass of vino, even if we’re thousands of miles away from each other and in different time zones. I can’t help but quote the voiceover guy from the TV show The Six Million Dollar Man, “We have the technology.” We can WhatsApp, FaceTime, text, email, or what John has started doing, setting up a family Zoom call to loop in his six siblings that live in four different cities. I’ve already started telling friends, “I want to call you more often. I want to hear your voice even if for just a few minutes and you can do the same with me – anytime.”

I do keep in touch with a handful regularly, but I’ve made such good friends where I’ve lived (9 cities, 3 countries) and worked in so many different organizations, it’s a shame to lose these connections forever just because we aren’t still neighbors or don’t work in the same office, so I’m going to do something about it. I’m going to get back in touch. Even if it’s just to send them a celebratory text on their birthday to get started. Who wouldn’t like knowing they are being remembered? It’s not too late. It’s exactly the right time. 

So just three intentions for 2023 and they’re all about doing more of what I love and less of what I don’t. Bake more, cook less. Watch more movies, less news. Reconnect with people I miss. It’s easy to get swept up in the current of current events. There’s a lot of heavy stuff going on, and sadly, there always is. 

At the end of this year, I want to feel like I enjoyed more and worried less. That doesn’t mean I won’t still hit the gym, volunteer, work on improving my Spanish and try to read more books – especially BANNED ones – but by giving myself permission to do the things that I think are fun more often, I hope to have truly given myself a happier year. And why shouldn’t I? Why shouldn’t you? Life is short. Do the things that make you happy while you can. I’m pretty sure we won’t regret it. 

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